January 2012
2 posts
“Every time I go into a bathroom at a bar and see a kid-sized urinal, I get...”
October 2011
2 posts
Personal Fact #451
If you say that you hate the 90’s classic sitcom “Full House” I will take a personal offense to it.
September 2011
2 posts
9 tags
A Suicidal Journey Through The Australian Animal...
Ah yes, Australia, the real-life Savage Land. If there is one thing that matches it’s untamed beauty, it’s primal majesty, it is the sheer number creatures that are native inhabitants that are capable of killing a fully grown human with minimum effort. Australia is proof that yes Virginia, God does exist, and he does not want people to live on this mother-fucking island.
So anyway,...
August 2011
5 posts
“Insert positive, life-affirming morning quote by famous...”
“I’ve never had to do a walk of shame because I regret nothing!”
“Go big or go home, unless you are in a competition in which the tiniest thing...”
1 tag
“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.”
– St. Francis of Assisi (I think.)
“Safety goggles are for pussies and eye-patches make you look cool.”
July 2011
12 posts
“Goals are less important than the experience you receive in trying to achieve...”
“What truly separates us from the other species on this planet is our capacity to...”
“Some people say showing your emotions is a weakness or at best a hindrance. I...”
“In what I’m sure is just a big coincidence, people who say money...”
“A “double tap” is just a sign that you can’t take care...”
“My only weakness is a girl with a pretty smile and bright eyes. Oh, wait, no, I...”
“A true pub does not carry “Lite” beers.”
“The F-Word is not necessarily my favorite word, it just always seems to be the...”
“I firmly believe that the 1955-1965 was the best decade to be a working...”
“Some people start their day off with a cup of coffee. I start my day off with a ...”
“Never send someone a naked image of yourself from your phone. Be classy and send...”
3 tags
Your level of trust in a person should be based...
Any questions? Yeah, bearded Han Solo didn’t think so.
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
5 posts
make a move: where do babies come from? →
when asked where babies come from, this would be be answer:
“once upon a time, an ancient wizard planted the seed of the vower root. as time passed, the strength and exponential growth of the plant tripled, quadrupled, quintupled, and so on for hundreds of years. this tuberous plant released…
18 tags
Ten Geektacular Hoodies From The Interwebs
Ah yes, the Hooded Sweatshirt, perhaps the greatest clothing creation of the last century. Comfortable, practical, and in the right hands very stylish. This includes the oh so Internet Friendly “Geek chic.”
“Itsa me! Model that in real life would never be caught dead in a Marrrrio Hoodie!”
The amount of geek hoodies are plentiful and pretty much cover every subject,...
3 tags
A Serious Easter Rant
Today is very big day for a large portion of the world. Of course I’m talking about Children’s Day in Taiwan and Hong Kong. Also, it’s Easter, a Holiday that commemorates pretty much the most important event in the history of the world.
Like a lot of people, I start to think about the spiritual ramifications surrounding the events that this day commemorates. One of my...
March 2010
5 posts
5 tags
A Philosophlical Rant: Science and Religion
As someone who has works in the online multimedia business, I spend a lot of time on the internet. Since part of my job involves content management, I’ve seen a lot of things, things that would make most people cry.
Just another Tuesday afternoon at the office!
Now you would think the most disturbing thing on the internet would involve some derange sexual act that is only legal in remote...
3 tags
Final Fantasy XIII: The Avatar of Video Games?
On December 18, 1987, a small Japanese Software came out with a relative simple game, a turn-based role-playing affair that allowed the player to make a party of four characters with different rolls. This game would go on to be one of the biggest hits of the original Nintendo Entertainment System and would forever change the entire industry.
That game was Final Fantasy.
Flash forward to now....
1 tag
How to Have A Good Live Act
Like most folks out there, I’m a big fan of people who go up onto a stage in front of a bunch of other people and play musical instruments for the purpose of entertainment. I like music. I buy albums, I read the occasional music blog, and I listen to radio stations (both on the web and on the airwaves) that tend to have what is considered to be quality goodness in the world of sound.
...
February 2010
8 posts
1 tag
Conversations with Myself, Part 1.
Hey Brain?
Yes?
I want to see a movie this weekend. Can you help me pick one?
All right, what kind of movie are you looking for?
I want something that’s not going to require a lot thinking. An action or a comedy?
Okay, what about Cop Out?
Eh, I don’t know, from the previews my gut is telling me that it doesn’t look very good.
Yeah, it looks like it’s gonna blow.
...
3 tags
Happy Margarita Day
Ah yes, the Margarita. Very few drinks have made happy hours so wonderful, or the morning afters so regretable.
There are a variety of recipes for making the perfect Margarita, but your basic recipe goes a little something like this:
1) Fill a chilled glass halfway up with tequila
2) Fill the other half with varying levels of Triple Sec and lime juice (or lemon juice, if you’re a...
4 tags
The world's first mockumentary proves that the...
There have been a lot of really good pranks over the years. Humans like to laugh, and more importantly, they like to laugh at the expense of humiliating others. History has been chock-full of stories about people pulling fast ones on each other ever since Cain totally pwned Abel back in 3983 BC (a pwn that, admittedly, went a tad too far).
“Ur such a noob LULZ!!11!”
While its...
3 tags
I'm just glad I can now put baby killer on my...
So I discovered that because I’m left-handed, I probably had a twin in the womb whom I murdered and absorbed early on in development. I’m not joking, this is an real, viable scientific theory, developed by real, viable scientists.
“I can only assume that his name is Fredo, and he broke my heart.”
It’s called Vanishing Twin Syndrome, and it appears to be more...
1 tag
Random Thought 01.09.10
I love that some foods advertise that they are “excellent for digestion.” Just to make sure that everyone is clear here, when they say”digestion” they are referring to the final phase of the whole eating process. I believe the scientific term is “taking a deuce.”
That’s right, there are foods out there that market as making pooping a more pleasurable...
January 2010
1 post
The New Years Speech
“My mouth tastes like liver failure.”
(The following is a speech that I wrote for a toast on New Years Eve of this year, 2010. While this was the proposed speech, the actual speech was not nearly as eloquent due to the fact that I tend to ramble at three in the morning and certain individuals who shall not be named kept interrupting me. These same individuals also did very bad...